In the year of 2017, I began to create art around the two most significant men that shaped the tumultuous experiences from 2015 to where I am today.
I didn't think of myself as an artist until recently. In the midst of ingrained stoicism, the origins of which I am unsure, I didn't know how else to express myself. Art became a meditative exercise for me on those nights of me ugly-crying, alone, in my bed. It allowed me to have the conversations with myself and with the others that I didn't know how to.
-----
Dear Marcus,
You are the one who stands polar to everything that I promised myself I would never allow again. You are the one that blindsided me because I didn't know I had this capacity to feel. You are the one who I loved but you couldn't love me back. You are one who I don't really understand if it was the man, or just the idea.
You are the one who stands polar to everything that I promised myself I would never allow again. You are the one that blindsided me because I didn't know I had this capacity to feel. You are the one who I loved but you couldn't love me back. You are one who I don't really understand if it was the man, or just the idea.
Sometimes I wonder if I ever cross your mind the way you still criss cross in mine. Most times I wonder if I'll ever truly get over you.
But in the end, I think, no matter who it was after The Ex. It was probably never going to be easy. At least I tell myself this.
Maybe one day, I won't love you anymore, but it's okay if I do as well. At least we both got to experience that wild choking passion at least once in our lives...
Can you see it?
Happy birthday
One stop at a time
It was a long way home
I wish you would just ask me how I am doing
"The worst part about all of this will be hurting you"
It felt better to be stupid
